The books

Coming soon

A Light in the Dark

A Memoir of Motherhood, Divorce, and Starting Over

In the summer of 2007 a young mother wrote a journal entry about the night she stood behind the couch with a softball bat, looked at the back of her husband's head, and chose instead to put it back in the closet, pick up her infant son, and spend the night at her parents' house. She called it Light in the Dark.

Then she stayed with him for eight more years.

This is the journey she promised, told from the beginning. A girl raised by a father who chose her schools, her friends and her activities, and who one winter walked her up to the door of the man she would marry. A marriage that ran on the threat of suicide. Three sons, a camper trailer, and no plan. And a blank name tag at a roller derby tryout, where she wrote a name nobody gave her.

Content note: this book describes domestic abuse, coercive control and suicidal threats.

Coming soon

Eternity in His Eyes

Learning to Love the Reflection in the Mirror

October 2020. Thomi decides there is no longer a reason to hide who she is. By December, Thomi is Tommie, and has written the sentence this book answers: I now see myself as, and identify as, a man.

Eternity in His Eyes follows what that sentence cost. Three sons learning to call their mother Abba. A driver's license with a new name. A father who will not hug him. It is a book about being seen for who you really are, behind what everyone expected you to be.

Content note: this book describes family rejection and separation from children.

In progress

Shattering the Silence

Written out of his own life. He wrote himself back in.

Book Four picks up in March 2025 with the long drive back north, and follows the sons coming home one by one. It is also the story of a writer finding a voice after years of silence, and using it.

Coming soon

Letters to My Younger Self

From the woman who made it through, to the one still inside

Letters from the writer now to the young wife she was, still inside the marriage. Each letter takes one thing that cannot be seen from inside a marriage like that and shows it as it happened: the friend who became a threat, the message sent in her name, the good weeks, the money with no name on it, and the word no, and what it cost the one time she spent it.

Nothing is asked in return. One thing per letter that cannot be seen from inside.

Content note: this book describes domestic abuse and coercive control.